There's a new slayer in town.

Ghost of summers past

Getting ready to fly out tomorrow back to my mom's house in Virginia for a few weeks. Going to pick berries, go swimming, cook southern goodness, and oh yeah FIGHT GHOSTS.

What should I pack for my haunted house? Sage? Tarot? TARO?!

My middle finger is so clean, classic American

Have you ever applied for a job at Abercrombie & Fitch, a.k.a. HITLER'S YOUTH?????

You best not have a prosthetic arm.

Phat as hell

Hooray for lard! It's back, it's trendy, it's delicious. I'm not gonna lie, when my mom makes pie crusts from lard it is the best thing ever. Way better than Crisco.

An excerpt on how to make your own:
you can make your own if you can get your hands on top-quality fat from a small producer—back, belly, or kidney fat will all work. Cut it into chunks and cook them very slowly over low heat until the fat seeps out and only crispy bits are left. Strain it and save the fat in the refrigerator almost indefinitely. Salt the cracklings and eat them as what Mexicans call chicharrones.

(Thanks to http://twitter.com/LAFoodie for linkage. I highly suggest following them. Their tweets entertain and enlighten all day long. Pic by Winston Smith.)

PS: My new favorite web site: FOOD PORN DAILY. Click, drool, repeat. A great place for meal inspirations. And fantasy. Gosh, I'm dying over here.

A thin line

Love: Twitter. I like knowing what Neil Gaiman is doing with his day, what is going on at the LACMA, and what my BFFs are doing when we aren't together. I also like telling the world every time I spot a hobo jungle, a fanny pack, or feel an onslaught of pathos because I am not a cyborg.

Hate: People who aren't really your friends on Facebook writing passive aggressive emails meant to induce guilt because you ain't trying to accept their friend request. Pretty much everyone I care about in high school, I still talk to. They don't have to come find me, they have my number. You don't live by me, you've never been to my birthday party, you don't know how many brothers I have or what hand I write with-- we probably aren't friends. It's okay, doesn't mean I wouldn't give you a ride during a zombie apocalypse. Just means I don't want to rifle through your vacation pics.

Love: American Apparel tees. It's like Renee said, "every frikkin' color of the rainbow!" They fit. They're soft. I wear them to death.

Hate: American Apparel. Dov Charney, drugs, explotation. Hate their ads. At least you get paid a living wage? I swore them off for a good while. But then I got tired of wearing the same inside out Transformer tee shirt every day.

Love: Sad robot stories.

Hate: Happy elf stories.

Love: Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Best feminist icon ever. Great characters, great acting, great writing, great story archs. Cheesy genre hijinks mixed with snappy dialogue and deeply human stories. Sex, violence, good vs. evil, evil that turns good, and good that goes bad. Plus Joss Whedon is a really cool guy. I would love to work with him some day. Not feeling the whole Joss-less Buffy movie on the horizon. A newfangled Slayer movie could be cool. But I think we all know it won't be.

Hate: Twilight. Not completely accurate: I like that it exists. I just don't care about it. I am not invested in obsessive actions with no motivation. I'll probably see New Moon, though. It will be amusing. Well, and I also really like when people turn into wolves.

(Sad Robot by Sam.)

1997

Slush

I'm the assistant editor for Orson Scott Card's Intergalactic Medicine Show. As a result, I read a LOT of short science fiction and fantasy. Sometimes it is good, sometimes it just doesn't cut the mustard, and other times... well.

I know as a writer feedback is appreciated, but I never have the time to respond to such requests. I get dozens of stories a day. This is not my only job. It is, however, the most time consuming. That said:

I've decided to start a new regular feature on my twitter, Reasons Why I Might Reject your Story. Maybe it will help a few of the new writers out there from making some common mistakes. Granted, there are exceptions to ever rule. For every forty utterly cliché vampire or anthropomorphic stories out there, there has been one that was original, surprising, and thought provoking.

There is one reason I would like to devote more than 140 characters to. Plagiarism. You'd think this would be obvious. But some people out there really suck. I once received a cheeky little story about a reluctant prince. It was very funny. I liked it; I think it sent it on to the Managing Editor and Editor in Chief.

A YEAR later I was riding with part of my family on a car trip from Indiana back to Virginia. My Oldest brother (who has quite possibly read every science fiction and fantasy story there is) began reading aloud from a book called Blue Moon Rising by Simon R. Green. It was a cheeky little story about a reluctant prince. A few paragraphs in and I was already feeling déja vu. I stopped my brother and summarized what ended up being the entire first chapter.

Gross. People, write your own stories. And go easy on the anthropomorphism.

http://twitter.com/saraellis

(Art by Dorian Cleavenger. I'm sorry. )