Here lies a bird, in memory of Theophanu, once Empress of the Holy Roman Empire.
You were married to Otto II, and his mom totally hated your guts. In fact, she was quite pleased when you died. Maybe she just hated on you because you insisted on bathing every day and dressing to the nines. Some people say you had a big mouth, but maybe you were just trying to keep it real, and to hold onto the power that was rightfully yours. You were a protective mother, and were friendly to peeps who weren't trying to lie to your face. Because of you, I get to eat with a fork.
Thanks, Theophanu, thanks. Rest in Peace.